The days continue to slip by.
Sometimes they have meaing and sometimes they are still tinged with that bittersweet melancholy.

I wish to find a secluded place. A sweet meadow filled with beautiful sunflowers. I would put one behind my ear and dance to the sound of lifes music. I would be free.

I don't visit back here much, but I do regularly update my tumblr. Please feel free to drop by, ask me something, or just take a look.

All the love in the world, dears.



"And then you have to grow wings, and rise above it all"

Dear Friend,

I have lost myself this time. I've heard of whimsy girls who leave drops of sunlight behind them, but all I've left is pieces of myself along the way.
I feel all their eyes watching me constantly. They are all waiting for another fall. We all are I guess, I can see the future as well as the rest of them can.
My friend, I don't know what to tell you. I'm happy your not here, I've pushed everybody away. This is the time I need them the most but I can't stand doing this to them.
All my secrets are coming out and it scares me.
I'm keeping the glue close at hand but I'm not sure I how many more times I can be fixed. It's always temporary, this glue doesn't ever hold for very long.
I miss you my friend, and I get scared that I won't ever see your face again.

Love, me.

I have been missing for a long time.
I promise I will be back soon.

It's like instead of making me feel sad, they've changed it so I feel nothing.
I understand how a zombie must feel.

It will all be better.


I do have a Tumblr now. It is the pretty pictures and words that keep me inspired.. http://somethinglovelydaydreamer.tumblr.com/






I hope for you, the sun is shining and the birds are singing.

Life as I know it.

Everything's changed. For the better. I feel much better, so refreshed. I've cut the one big bad thing out of my life and never again am I going to let it get me down. Sounds good in theory, yes. Here's hoping I can keep it up in practice.
So much has happened. So many glorious moments, fragmets of time that I will remeber for the rest of my life.. "We shined back then. We were amazing"...
My classes have defnitely been broadening my views of the world and I've been thinking a lot lately about decay. Such a horrible word isn't it? Yet we stumble across it everyday. We see decay in society, people, ourselves. And let's be honest here, most of the time we do nothing about it. But it really is time for a change. Everytime I write, I keep in mind the simple instruction to 'tell the world something important' and today I saying that I've had enough of this decay. As a very firm believer in both Social Justice and the Social Action behind it, I'd really love to eventually open my own charity one day. One that focuses on both local and global concerns. For now, I'm working the small stuff. Giving my time where I can, learning as much as I can, and even just simple things such as smiling as much as possible and asking random strangers how their day is going. I would encourage every person to do the same, it takes one person to make a difference, but a whole army to start a revolution. Start smiling everyday, ask a person that looks sad if they are okay, give a dollar to that homeless person on the corner. Really all I'm saying is just be kind. For there is nothing better you could do in this world.

Ten True Facts About The Ponderer..

1. I like to smile. I think it's a very important thing to make sure you do each and every day. Smiling at other people can make their day better, so I always send a grin in the direction of people I pass. And, if you smile enough, it can make you feel better too!

2. I wear bangles every day. They jingle everytime I move. I like to think of it as making my own music.

3. I'm a nerd at heart and I'm such a bookworm, I've always got my nose burrowed in a book. I sometimes remind myself of Belle from Beauty and the Beast (only one of the best Disney movies. Ever)

4. I cry in my sleep.

5. I think I belong to another time. In the way that it's like Sylvia Plath was one who was meant for a future era, I think I am meant for the past. I am in love with everything old, and the past just makes sense to me. Waiting for the day when a time travelling machine is finally invented.

6. I long for the country. I'm at my very happiest when I'm camping out in the bush, or staying in the country. It just amazes me how beautiful the earth can be.

7. I love to create, make things, and just generally be crafty.

8. Music is so important to me.

9. One of the things I am most passionate about in the world is Social Justice. I want to
make a change in the way things are at the moment, because honestly, I really don't think it's good enough. At all.
10. I'm different. And I love that.

Ah, Friday night how I adore you.
This particular one is being spent in bed, having a Sex and the City marathon, pondering and recovering from the whirlwind week that was.
This week, I entered back into the educational world and started studying again. I must say, I am loving my course, its extremely inspiring and thought provoking. I'm finding it very refreshing, to be learning again and to be hearing new insights and opinions into particular issues, and in turn, having my voice heard. It is very full on and many of my classmates are mature-age so it can be difficult to keep up at times but its so enjoyable. I think I've found where I'm meant to be at this point in my life.
Tonight I'm dreaming of all things Vintage, and Paris, and flowers, and pretty words and not caring what anybody thinks. And discovering, always discovering.
You know what. I think I would love to be a writer. I mean, it's not like I want to do writing as a career, but it's something that I've always loved to do and would eventually love to end up writing a novel. Maybe when I'm old and grey and retired, sitting on my porch on my country property surrounded by my cats and dogs and horses and sheep and cows. And quite possibly alpacas. Sounds like the life, doesn't it?
Here's to the random, meaningless ponderings of a Friday night.

Stay kind and keep smiling.

Inspiration..

I thought I'd share some of the things that are keeping me inspired recently. These are the things I turn to when I'm having a 'black day' or when I wake up in the middle of the night crying. They remind me to be strong..

This is my book of quotes. Everytime I find a quote that I love, or one that I can relate to, I write it down in this little book. Then, everytime I feel a little down I read through them and it always helps.

Bronte. My beautiful Lab with her big gorgeous chocolate eyes and velvet ears. She knows whenever I'm upset and always comes and lays by me. I don't think I could count all the times I've layed on the floor crying into her fur. Giving her a hug always makes me feel so much better.

My photos. Anybody who knows me knows that I'm absolutely crazy about cameras and taking photos. I just think it's so important to capture every precious moment because before we know it, they may be taken from us.

And, last but not least, Frankie. Wow, I really don't think it can really be explained just how amazing it is. It is a magazine that comes out every two months, filled with all different things. But it is just so totally me. I have a habit of just reading them over and over. Seriously, it just makes my day. I definitely reccommend visiting their website which is almost, but not quite, as good as the actual thing..  http://www.frankie.com.au/

♥♥♥



Wow it's been ages
Yes I am still alive. It's just been hectic lately and I haven't really had all that much to say. Currently, I am laying in my littelest nieces bunk bed, with my older niece above me snoring contentedly. It's these moments I'm thankful for. Being able to have such amazing, special little people in my life. It really is something incredible.
So, I've faced a few home truths lately, thought about done stuff that I've been avoiding and while it's still all a big mess, it's starting to seem a little clearer.
But, I'm sick! :( which sucks. I have a cold! In the middle of summer and in the middle of these ridiculous heatwaves we've been experiencing, I get sick. Trust.
Well, I'll be back real soon. I might do a post tomorrow or in the next few days with some photos! Yay! But for now, my eyes are having a hard time staying open.

Always be beautiful :)

"He made the boxes because he was lonely. He didn’t have anyone to love, and he made the boxes so he could love them, and so people would know that he existed, and because birds are free and the boxes are hiding places for the birds so they will feel safe, and he wanted to be free and be safe. The boxes are for him so he can be a bird."

- Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Traveler’s Wife)

One of my favourite quotes at the moment. I feel like I really understand it right now.

I've been purposely keeing myself busy lately. This is for two reasons, I guess. Because when you have nothing to do, you tend to think a lot and thats not the best thing right now. Also, because I don't sleep anymore! It's rather annoying, so I try to tire myself out during the day. It's handy because I've accomplished lots of things. Yesterday I painted some drawers and a bookshelf that I've been meaning to do lately and I'm quite proud.

I have many crafty projects that I am planning on doing this week. And I'm absolutely delighted because I've made some exciting discoveries with all my pottering around. My mum was cleaning out a cupboard and found some of her old shoes which fit me! They are gorgeous- white and lacey, which is of course definitely my thing. I've also found some unloved lace doilies in our linen press and some lace curtain that aren't being used so I'm going to use them to make some things and do to some decorating! Will definitely share some photos when I'm finished.

Round one University offers come out tomorrow, and I'm getting rather nervous. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Last night one of my most favourite movies ever was on TV.. A Little Princess ♥
I used to read the book over and over when I was younger, and I loved the movie equally. I forgot just how much I loved it. I could still quote almost every line! And I also forgot how very sad it is, and that I tend to cry my way through the entire film. Some of my favourite quotes-

"You know, dolls make the very best friends. Just because they can't speak doesn't mean they don't listen. And did you know that when we leave them alone in our room, they come to life? "
"They do?"
"Yes! But before we walk in and catch them, they return to their place as quick as lightning!"
"Why don't they come to life in front of us so we can see them?"
"Because it's magic. Magic has to be believed. It's the only way it's real."

"What are you doing? Memorizing me by heart? "
"No... I already know you by heart."

"Sara... why don't you tell your stories anymore? "
"They're just make-believe. They don't mean anything."
"Oh, but they've always meant something to me. There were days I thought I would die, until I heard you talk about the magic."

"I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses. All of us"

♥♥

Anis Mojgani performs Shake the Dust at HEAVY AND LIGHT.

For the last few weeeks, I've been watching this over and over. I love it. I swear, everytime I watch it, it gives me goosebumps..

This is what I love today...

Who Knows If The Moon's- E.E Cummings.


who knows if the moon's
a balloon,coming out of a keen city
in the sky--filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should

get into it,if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we'd go up higher with all the pretty people

than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody's ever visited,where

always
it's
Spring)and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves

Some Treasures...

I fell in love with these today had had to buy them. They are just so me, the ring in particular.
2011 has been okay, so far. Just putting along really.
I'm looking forward to a week of not doing a lot, catching up with a few friends, spending time with family. After the last few, hectic weeks, a cruisy week souds absolutely perfect.

Hope 2011 is being good to you..

Dear 2010,

What can I say to you? You definitely took me on a rollercoaster ride. Up and down, constantly.
There were the good times and the bad. You saw me take a massive step to try and change some things, you saw when that didn't turn out so well. You saw my best, most fun and favourite year at school, you saw me graduate and recieve the marks that reflected the work I put in. You saw my darling nieces and nehpews grow up so quickly, with one of my beautiful girls graduating from kinder ready to start school next year. You saw me alot grow closer to some people, grow apart from others. You saw me discovering myself- finding who I am, what I love and what I aspire to be. You saw me become that little less shy. You brought heartache, sadness, joy and many shocks, as well as countless moments that just took my breath away. At times you simply flew by, and at times time seemed to go extra slow. I know that I'm going to miss you alot, but I'm all too excited for what the future will hold.

Thankyou for it all.

Love, Emily

I was all very excited for Christmas, but the happenings of this morning have definitely put a damper on it.

This morning, bright and early I was on my way up to the shops to finish my Christmas shopping. I was walking to the bus stop and a lady stopped me and asked if I had heard anything last night. She started to get extremely upset so I stayed with her. It turns out somebody had attacked her dog last night. I'm not going to go into details, but it was simply horrifying.
She had been on my thoughts all day and so I made her up a bunch of brownies and chocolates to take to her. We were chatting to our neighbour and when he heard what had happened, he cut some beautiful flowers from his garden for me to take to her. I wanted to make sure she knew that people cared, especially at this time of year.
When I went back, she was still very upset. The dog is still being operated on so there is no news. My heart just went out to her, I gave her a hug and didn't want to let go. It is so disgustingly awful that somebody could do this to a harmless creature. It just makes me sick.
I hope they get caught and thrown in jail.

Waiting for something to restore my faith in humans.

On repeat- Release Me- Oh Laura ♥

Well, yesterday being Christmas eve, eve, eve me and my sister had another attempt at making a Gingerbread House. We have been trying for three years in a row to get a house. The first year, our gingerbread was too thin so the house wouldnt even stand and then last year, our roof was way too heavy for the walls so it just kept sliding off. But, I am extremely pleased to announce that this year we finally got a house that is both standing, and has a roof! The decorating is not the best, but see for yourself-

 Being propped up by anything we could grab out of the pantry!

The finished result.

We were so extremely impressed with ourselves, that we at last got an unpstanding house. It is living at my sisters house and I havent spoken to her today yet, so hopefully it is still in one piece today!

Only two days left! :)

Bubbles under my Christmas Lights.. It looked magical..



'Get your head out of the clouds' they tell me. But, sometimes I just don't want to. I'd rather stay in the clouds. I feel safe there. It is my way of hiding from the very reality of life. It's not wise, it's unreasonable. Sooner or late it will all catch up with me no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I know this. Yet, we all are unreasonable creatures at times arent we..

It's still so cold! It rained all day.
I had a big discussion with my niece about Santa today. It was pretty cute. I remember when I still believed.. Oh, anything for that innocence.

Hoping your still seeing the beauty, finding a reason to smile..

I think the weather is confused. It is supposed to be Summer, you know, sun and hot, wearing dresses shorts and skirts. Instead all we've had is more rain and cold, wearing trackies and hoodies and ugg boots. What's with that?
I'm changing. I'm starting to learn to appreciate what I do have, rather than pondering on what I don't. Especially at this time of year. I absolutely hate how it's become about the material things. To me, Christmas will always be about giving. About helping those that are less fortunate and doing my bit to bring 'peace and goodwill' to all. I wish I could be doing more, but I just don't have time. Next year, I'm definitely planning on throwing myself much more into the community, and assisting where it is needed. But I'm very appreciative of the fact that I'm in a position that allows me to help others this Christmas.
So many people of my age are in the same position, to be able to go and volunteer as I do at a welfare centre for just a few hours a week. But they don't. Some people see poverty and injustice, even on a small scale happening all around them and yet do nothing about it. And it makes me sad.

I'm in a very Simon and Garfunkel mood. I like it.

Those photos are coming soon, my computer is being extremely difficult tonight.

On repeat- April Come She Will- Simon and Garfunkel.

Wow.
Firstly, Happy Birthday to both one of my very best friends and one of my big sisters. :)

Second, I did get my results on Monday. They were meant to come at seven in the morning via text message, and of course, mine came late at 7.30! Most anxious half an hour of my life I reckon.
And I must say, I'm absolutely thrilled with them! I was expecting a much, much lower score than I got and its made it all worth it. I'm hoping that it will allow me to get into my dream Uni course, I'm a few points below but I'm hoping to get in on the fringe, so fingers crossed!

I havent really slept at all this week, what with the waiting for results, crafting half the night, sleepovers and many early starts! I think it's just caught up with me this afternoon, I've got a bit of a headache and my body is just aching all over. I'm planning on curling up on the couch this evening under my Christmas lights and reading my old copies of Frankie. The new one came out today but I havent had the chance to get it! So, the old ones will do me for now.

I will post some more photos soon, I've been so busy that I havent had a chance to upload them, but I did get some beautiful ones of the sky the other night, so stay tuned!

My results come tomorrow. At seven in the morning to be exact.
Im so scared. Ive had permanent butterflies this whole afternoon.

I'm watching P.S I Love You.. ♥

Of course I'm crying my eyes out.

I'm such a hopeless romantic.
Today, I walked past a Laundromat and through the window I saw a guy sitting by himself, reading a classic novel.
It melted my heart.

Stay beautiful, stay kind..