Sunday, October 31, 2010

From a letter..

'... It's that time of day where the flowers curl back into themselves.Why do they do that? I've always wondered why. I like to think that it's their way of protecting themsleves from the darkness of the night, their way of just turning off. Sometimes I wish I could do that too. Curl up and be safe until the light of the morning. Unfortunately, dear friend, the mind cannot be turned off so I am not safe... I'm laying amongst the green grass, feeling the light breeze and the last of the days sun shine on my back. It has been a wonderful spring day and I only wish that you were here to share it with me... Sometimes I run out of words and sometimes I don't know how to feel. I'm scared... I don't want to remember but I'm not sure how not too. I guess, my whimsical friend, I am just melancholy...'

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Words on a page..

'One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live for ever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender, solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands alone and throws one's head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvellous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one's heart stands still at the strange, unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun- which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark-blue at night with millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in someone's eyes'

-The Secret Garden..

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sometimes things happen that really puts your own life into perspective.
This has happened to me recently, the tragic loss of someone I know, an encounter with someone I despise, that absolutely broke my heart, and then encountering that person again.. All in all, it has not been that nice.
So, what am I going to do about it?
I've decided that life is way too short for regrets, and that we don't appreciate the people and the things around us nearly as much as we ought too.
So, in saying that, I'm on a journey, I'm determined to discover the beauty absolutely everyday of my life. It may be something I've seen, heard or read about, a song, a person, a good thing.
I'm going to start appreciating the things that I'm not usually thankful for.
And so, my very first beautiful thing-
Today, it was something that happened to me.I was driving with my sister and we were out in fairly plain land, surrounded by fields and the sort. We drove past a paddock that had one single white horse in it. And for one second, the tiniest of moments, I thought that the horse had a horn on it's head. When I looked back, obviously it didn't. But, in that one moment it felt like magic did exist, that the things I used to believe in- the fairies, pixies and elves, were real again.
And  you know what?
It truly was beautiful.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Shaking off the melancholies.
Thats all there is to it.

I've been in such a woe-is-me mood lately. I don't particularly like that at all and it's not what I'm usually like. It's annoying and I know it has to be me to do something about it. Sure, theres going to be bad days, but you just have to fight through them. That's all.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Is the sky really the limit?
I'm not sure. Sometimes I wish I could find an enchanted forest, with tiny little creatures that would care and look after me and I could just drift away. I wish for an escape at the very least. But I know that everybody does at times. I see the lines that I created myself and they make me sad. Sometimes I just think that I'm literally falling apart, being held together only by the tiniest of threads. What will happen when that eventualy snaps? I wish I could make it stronger, but I just cant seem to be able to find a needle or more thread anywhere I look. Sometimes it's like those lines define me. Sometimes it's like I let them.

Listening To- Running Up That Hill- Placebo

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

This one goes out to my awesomely awesome friend Erica.
Because I know shes a little sad at the moment, which she has every right to be.
But I just want her to know that I'm here and that I love her
And that we will drink coffee and hot chocolate that will make us feel warm and fuzzy inside
And possibly find some birds- either to laugh at when they are flying into windows and/or analyze their flying patterns to see if it means something significant.
Which of course it will- because when does a bird flying on it's own not represent inner turmoil?


Monday, October 4, 2010

Because dreaming is beautiful.
Because smiling can brighten up someones day.
Because I want to be break free of this cage.
Because I'm so worried about them.
Because all I want is to just put a big bandaid on the world to take away the hurt.
Because I just want somebody to hold me and tell me it's all going to be okay.
Because the sun shines a little brighter but I'm stuck in the dark.
Because I just want to have that hope.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The sun looked really pretty coming in last night and making patterns on the walls. I like the way it made the shapes of the photos I have hanging up. I love the fact that Spring is finally starting to set in, I love those days that are so sunny and nice. It reminds me of Summer and iced tea and dresses and sunglasses and late nights and driving and being free.

Listening to- Cartwheels- The Reindeer Section