Friday, December 31, 2010

Dear 2010,

What can I say to you? You definitely took me on a rollercoaster ride. Up and down, constantly.
There were the good times and the bad. You saw me take a massive step to try and change some things, you saw when that didn't turn out so well. You saw my best, most fun and favourite year at school, you saw me graduate and recieve the marks that reflected the work I put in. You saw my darling nieces and nehpews grow up so quickly, with one of my beautiful girls graduating from kinder ready to start school next year. You saw me alot grow closer to some people, grow apart from others. You saw me discovering myself- finding who I am, what I love and what I aspire to be. You saw me become that little less shy. You brought heartache, sadness, joy and many shocks, as well as countless moments that just took my breath away. At times you simply flew by, and at times time seemed to go extra slow. I know that I'm going to miss you alot, but I'm all too excited for what the future will hold.

Thankyou for it all.

Love, Emily

Friday, December 24, 2010

I was all very excited for Christmas, but the happenings of this morning have definitely put a damper on it.

This morning, bright and early I was on my way up to the shops to finish my Christmas shopping. I was walking to the bus stop and a lady stopped me and asked if I had heard anything last night. She started to get extremely upset so I stayed with her. It turns out somebody had attacked her dog last night. I'm not going to go into details, but it was simply horrifying.
She had been on my thoughts all day and so I made her up a bunch of brownies and chocolates to take to her. We were chatting to our neighbour and when he heard what had happened, he cut some beautiful flowers from his garden for me to take to her. I wanted to make sure she knew that people cared, especially at this time of year.
When I went back, she was still very upset. The dog is still being operated on so there is no news. My heart just went out to her, I gave her a hug and didn't want to let go. It is so disgustingly awful that somebody could do this to a harmless creature. It just makes me sick.
I hope they get caught and thrown in jail.

Waiting for something to restore my faith in humans.

On repeat- Release Me- Oh Laura ♥

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Well, yesterday being Christmas eve, eve, eve me and my sister had another attempt at making a Gingerbread House. We have been trying for three years in a row to get a house. The first year, our gingerbread was too thin so the house wouldnt even stand and then last year, our roof was way too heavy for the walls so it just kept sliding off. But, I am extremely pleased to announce that this year we finally got a house that is both standing, and has a roof! The decorating is not the best, but see for yourself-

 Being propped up by anything we could grab out of the pantry!

The finished result.

We were so extremely impressed with ourselves, that we at last got an unpstanding house. It is living at my sisters house and I havent spoken to her today yet, so hopefully it is still in one piece today!

Only two days left! :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bubbles under my Christmas Lights.. It looked magical..

'Get your head out of the clouds' they tell me. But, sometimes I just don't want to. I'd rather stay in the clouds. I feel safe there. It is my way of hiding from the very reality of life. It's not wise, it's unreasonable. Sooner or late it will all catch up with me no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I know this. Yet, we all are unreasonable creatures at times arent we..

It's still so cold! It rained all day.
I had a big discussion with my niece about Santa today. It was pretty cute. I remember when I still believed.. Oh, anything for that innocence.

Hoping your still seeing the beauty, finding a reason to smile..

Monday, December 20, 2010

I think the weather is confused. It is supposed to be Summer, you know, sun and hot, wearing dresses shorts and skirts. Instead all we've had is more rain and cold, wearing trackies and hoodies and ugg boots. What's with that?
I'm changing. I'm starting to learn to appreciate what I do have, rather than pondering on what I don't. Especially at this time of year. I absolutely hate how it's become about the material things. To me, Christmas will always be about giving. About helping those that are less fortunate and doing my bit to bring 'peace and goodwill' to all. I wish I could be doing more, but I just don't have time. Next year, I'm definitely planning on throwing myself much more into the community, and assisting where it is needed. But I'm very appreciative of the fact that I'm in a position that allows me to help others this Christmas.
So many people of my age are in the same position, to be able to go and volunteer as I do at a welfare centre for just a few hours a week. But they don't. Some people see poverty and injustice, even on a small scale happening all around them and yet do nothing about it. And it makes me sad.

I'm in a very Simon and Garfunkel mood. I like it.

Those photos are coming soon, my computer is being extremely difficult tonight.

On repeat- April Come She Will- Simon and Garfunkel.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Firstly, Happy Birthday to both one of my very best friends and one of my big sisters. :)

Second, I did get my results on Monday. They were meant to come at seven in the morning via text message, and of course, mine came late at 7.30! Most anxious half an hour of my life I reckon.
And I must say, I'm absolutely thrilled with them! I was expecting a much, much lower score than I got and its made it all worth it. I'm hoping that it will allow me to get into my dream Uni course, I'm a few points below but I'm hoping to get in on the fringe, so fingers crossed!

I havent really slept at all this week, what with the waiting for results, crafting half the night, sleepovers and many early starts! I think it's just caught up with me this afternoon, I've got a bit of a headache and my body is just aching all over. I'm planning on curling up on the couch this evening under my Christmas lights and reading my old copies of Frankie. The new one came out today but I havent had the chance to get it! So, the old ones will do me for now.

I will post some more photos soon, I've been so busy that I havent had a chance to upload them, but I did get some beautiful ones of the sky the other night, so stay tuned!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

My results come tomorrow. At seven in the morning to be exact.
Im so scared. Ive had permanent butterflies this whole afternoon.

I'm watching P.S I Love You.. ♥

Of course I'm crying my eyes out.

I'm such a hopeless romantic.
Today, I walked past a Laundromat and through the window I saw a guy sitting by himself, reading a classic novel.
It melted my heart.

Stay beautiful, stay kind..

Saturday, December 11, 2010

One of the most hectic weeks I've had in a while. Feels like I've been all over the place.
Happy, sad, terrified, horrified, guilty, among many others. It was exhausting.

I'm losing contact with a few of my friends, which makes me kinda sad. But, as we sat on the beach a few weeks back pondering how we got to where we are, where we are going from here, we predicted who wasnt going to bother and we got it spot on.
The important ones will stay and thats all that matters.

Today I'm just happy with my own company. I like solitude.

Still learning how to grow my wings. Soon enough, I'm not only going to fly, I'll soar.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Soon it unfolds who we are, in this masquerade of stars..

In the need of some inspiration. Both to keep, and to pass along to somebody else who needs it.
I feel like such a hypocrite, giving advice against the very things I do myself. But what else could I do?

It's all about being broken, and then picking up all the pieces and doing whatever we can to make them fit together again. But sometimes it isn't enough.
I'm seeing this more than ever. All I can do is try to help.

It's only 18 day until Christmas. This is making me happy.
It's only 6 days until we get our results. This is not.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I still wonder why this just reduces me to nothing. It's aways both sudden and devastating.
It's not as easy as it looks. Oh how I wish it was.
I guess you could say I have a touch of the melancholies today. But I'm sure it will be better soon.

Today I'm wearing a big lace bow in my hair. I like it.
I feel like writing letters, but I dont have anybody to write to. I wish I had a penpal.
Maybe I will go and lay in the grass and watch clouds. Dream of places far, far away.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Do you know her?
She is the one with the flyaway hair, the one who sometimes stumbles around as if her world is spinning.
She thinks alot about everything.
She likes to take her time in life, smelling the roses and appreciating the little things.
She is sad, but tries her hardest not to be.

Today I brought a dress, which I'm planning on wearing to my nieces' joint birthday party tomorrow. Charlotte turned five yesterday and Sophie, one of my other nieces is turning two on the 19th, but because it is so close to Christmas, my sister is giving them both a party tomorrow. I must say, I absolutely love the dress, it has a zip right down the front, is the most perfect shade of pink and I absolutely adore the lace on the front. It was a bargain too, which just makes it that much better! See here-

Sorry about the shoddy quality of the photo, it makes it really hard to see, but I assure you, it is very nice.

In a way, I'm also dreading tomorrow a bit. These parties are somewhat nightmarish- I have to encounter someone that helped to destroy the girl I used to be. Usually my best friend, being part of our family now, comes along and is there for moral support, ensuring that I don't absolutely breakdown. But shes not going to be there this time. I'm going it alone. I just hope I'm strong enough. That's all.

Lets just pray the sun keeps shining and the birds keep singing.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

In an extremely odd mood right now.
I couldn't describe how I'm feeling. It's quite peculiar. I still haven't decided whether it's good or bad. Strange..
I guess this is a very pointless post.
I know what I want to say, I just can't seem to be able to put it into words right now.

Dreaming of gardens with beautiful, fragrant flowers with deep rich colours, trees that are as old as the sun and hidden safe, little nooks that could hide you away for a thousand years.

PS. Happy Birthday to my beautiful niece Charlotte. Shes five today and I simply can't believe it. Where have the years gone?